Obituary for Common Sense

BY GEOFF WILLIS – SEPTEMBER 22, 2011

POSTED IN: "THE OC", ACCOUNTABILITY, APATHY, FRESH JUICE 

This is an Obituary for Common Sense that purportedly first appeared in the London Times – though I can find no proof that it was ever actually published there.
這是一篇為常理而寫的訃聞，據稱首見於倫敦時報 –– 雖然我無法找到它確實曾刊登於此的證據。

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
今天讓我們一同哀悼一位甫逝世的摯愛老友。這位朋友已伴隨你我多年，他的名字叫作”常理”。無人知曉他的年歲，因其出生記錄早已遺失在繁瑣的官僚作業程序中。然而他將永遠被世人所紀念，因為他曾經用許多寶貴的教訓培育了我們：

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.
- 懂得審時度勢，知所進退； (走出迷思，面對事實)
- 知道為何早起的鳥兒有蟲吃；
- 知道人生並非總是公平，
- 並認清錯有可能在己。

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
常理曾藉著簡單、健康的財務方針（別花得比你賺的多）及可靠的策略（成人負責決策，而非小孩）存活。

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
然而當立意良好卻矯枉過正的規定實施後，常理的健康狀況開始急遽惡化。一位六歲小男孩遭指控性騷擾，只因親了他的同班同學；一位青少年午餐後使用漱口水，即遭勒令休學；一位老師訓斥了一位不守規矩的同學後，遭到開除–––這些報導只會使得常理的情況變得更糟。

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
管教小孩本是父母的責任。然而當老師擔當起管教小孩的責任，卻遭受父母責難時，常理再也站不住腳了。

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
更甚者，校方竟被要求，對於學生塗抹防曬油以及服用阿斯匹靈等事宜，需徵求父母同意；但是當學生因懷孕而想墮胎時，卻無法讓家長知道。遇到這種情況，常理衰敗得更厲害了。

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
當牧養教會成為一種商業行為，當犯人所受的待遇優於他們的受害者–––常理失去了求生的意志。

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
當你無法告贏一個闖進你家的竊賊，甚至還被反告傷害罪時，常理被徹底地擊垮了。

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
一位女士因為不知道冒著蒸氣的咖啡是燙的，灑出了一點點，就得到一筆巨額的慰問金。得知此消息，常理終於放棄求生的念頭了。

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
常理的雙親–––真理和信任、妻子–––明辨力、女兒–––責任感還有兒子–––理性，都比常理更早逝世。

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim
而他的四個同父異母兄弟卻活下來了，他們分別是：
我知道我的權利
我現在就想要
都是別人的錯
我是受害者！

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
幾乎沒有人意識到常理已逝，參加追思禮拜的人並不太多。如果常理仍在你心，請告訴更多人這個消息。若你不認識他，就隨波逐流吧，什麼都不必做。